My brain, 2003

Oh, man … this looks awful … just awful

…Huh? What?

I don’t know what happened to it … this is terrible …

What are you talking about?

How did it ever get like this?

Oh, my god! Is that your brain?

Yeah … I guess so

What’s it doing in your lap?

I don’t know ...

…You idiot! You took your brain out! You can’t just take your brain out and fiddle with it like that!

I guess …

Are you out of your mind?

Oh, I guess so … I dunno …

Oh, honestly. Here, sit still.

What are you doing?

Sit still. I’m going to see if I can get it back in. Hold still now. Just a minute. Honestly. There. Now … where’s the rest of your head?

The what?

The top of your head! What did you do with the top of your head?

I don’t know.

Oh, honestly! Here it is. Under the chair. Now be still while I try to put this back on.

I don’t feel so good.

Well, I guess not. Now just hold still. Now. Then. There. How does that feel?

Better. That’s better, I guess. I’m kind of seeing double, though. I think I need a beer.

What on earth possessed you to do such a thing?

I don’t know. I think it was the neighbors. The couple next door. They started screwing, and jesus they were loud. You know how loud they can get. And these walls are like cardboard, hell, they might as well have been right here in the room with me. Suddenly I just didn’t know what to do with myself. He was moaning and she was crying out and the headboard was slamming against the wall … and then a railroad locomotive started blowing its whistle somewhere far off in the distance, somewhere down in the freight yards, just one long, faint, faraway wail in the darkness … I don’t know, it just left me lonely. Restless and lonely. Lost, I guess.

So you heard all this and started playing with your brain?

Oh, don’t give me that! Don’t even start! Of course I play with my brain. Hell, everybody plays with their brain. You play with your brain, too, if you’d just admit it.

Oh, honestly …